Only in America Part 2: State Troopers

Second Part

It's Sunday, bright sunny day on the highway back to DC. Now if you notice the Geography of DC, you'll find Virginia, Maryland and The District of Columbia, all meshed into what looks like one Metropolitan Region, yet 3 separate states. North east from North and South almost mean nothing on the map. it was 4pm, about 2.5 hours to go before returning 'Zippy', our Mitsubishi Convertible Eclipse. You've probably guessed it already, so the answer is Yes.

I saw the Pig pulling out of the shadows ever so discretely. I was going 78 miles in the left hand lane. Coming from Maryland where the limit was 65. I had a hint of panic but thought I should be OK, but my gut told me I was busted. Slowly I moved into the centre lane, he was back about a quarter of a mile behind me no lights just yet. I hung in around 55 miles when he bolted up right behind me lights blaring. Fucker!

I slowly moved into the right hand land and the pulled over immediately with Trooper behind me. Now I know Washington State police are not ones to mess with, Virgina Cops, you never fuck around with. Liz told me to just be patient and answer his questions and not talk back.

The way they pull their cars up behind you and slant them with the tip towards the highway after parking just sorta puts the extra cringe in you. The trooper got out of the car and I immediately noticed in my rear view mirror his hand was on his gun at the hip. I was freaked when I saw that. I almost wanted to stick my hands up in the air right there. Instinctively I did what I should have, I took my sunglasses off so he could see the fear in my eyes.

He was everything a hardcore state trooper would have looked like. Tall (6'0) skinny framed with shallow face and pointy nose wearing sunglasses and a big old round Sheriff Hat in brown uniform.

'Sir, do you realize in the State of Virginia, going 20 miles over the speed limit is classified as Reckless Driving and you will go to Court for this as a Felony' were the first things out of his mouth.

Let me Digest that, it's criminal to go over 20 miles the Speed Limit in Virginia and you will go to Jail and have this on your record, never to enter the US again.

'No sir I'm sorry I was not aware of this, I'm from Canada and I live in London, and this is the first time I've driven on these roads'

I clocked you going 78 in a 55 mile an hour zone, is there any reason you were Reckless Driving'?

'I was not aware of the limit, we came from Maryland where it was posted 65. I know I was going 78 but did not realize this was a 55 zone'

Yes the changeover is THAT quick on these US Highways, always be aware of the limit. There is no State Boundary Infrastructure.

'The Limit is 55 in all of the State of Virginia. License and Registration Please'

Liz jumped in and mentioned that she didn't drive either and lives in DC and we were sorry and didn't know.

I handed him my license and Rental Car paperwork.

He asked if I had a clean record in BC and I said Yes. Off he went to his car.

He never cracked a smile or anything, dead and serious as nails.

Shiiiiittttttt Basically I had committed a crime. I could have actually been arrested right then and there, face down and handcuffed taken to jail if the Trooper really wanted to.

He came back and as he did Liz put her hand on my neck and said 'I'll be OK honey' a tactic we thought might soften this hardcore trooper.

''You realize you were going 23 over the limit, that is a criminal charge for Reckless Driving and you would be required to be in Court May 30 in the Virginia Court of law'

'Yes I realize this and I'm sorry'

Liz jumped in: 'Well speaking Selfishly, at least that's a great way to get him back to DC so I can see him again before he goes off!'

The trooper actually cracked a smile, this was serious. These people don't smile, they are machines. One of the greatest qualities of Liz is she can talk to anyone, and make them smile or laugh. She has got true charm.

The Court date was set for May 30, fuck I'm going to be in Italy at that time! I can't come back for that. I'd have to. Not coming back would put me on the US books as a criminal, meaning I'd never be allowed to enter into the US again, nor pass through it. I'd be on the Book. Its THAT fucking serious, and they call it Reckless Driving, holy shit! I'm a reckless driving criminal for going 23 miles over the limit. I wasn't even swerving!

'I'm going to knock this down to a speeding classification, which means you still pay the fine, but you won't have to come back to court in the US, unless you want to. You just pay the fine. If you're OK with that, sign here and you're free to go.'

'I'VE MADE PEOPLE COME BACK' - was the last thing he said. Dead serious, dead on.

'Thank you sir, I really appreciate this' and Liz also jumped in with a thanks so much that really means a lot.'

Lucky Strike, How many more lives do I have? Happy to pay the money, this situation could have gone disastrously wrong for me. That is the last time I even go anywhere remotely over the posted limit. All these bastards that tailgate can get the fuck around me next time.

dtm

Only In America Part 1

I should have some Facebook pics to follow shortly, but thought I'd write on some Experiences here in DC. I've yet to meet up with Hilary, I'm hoping for a Saturday night date before I leave DC, I hear Bill's out in New York as the Doll is facing outwards in the window.

So only in America does one go to Outlet Centres to shop in 28 degree weather to escape the heat. This past Weekend (April 21) Liz and I rented a rental car, a sporty convertible. I've always been a SUV 4Runner kinda guy, but something about zipping around in this Mitsubishi Eclipse with the top down was very appealing.

Saturday night we drove to Baltimore, Maryland for dinner. It's only about an hour from Washington. We went to a wicked restaurant there called Pazo, it was a funky warehouse type Mediterranean restaurant with some lavish euro trance and high suede booth style seating with 2 bars and a dancefloor. Mostly covered in Red decor.

So en route to Baltimore at 8pm we were driving the 95 around a place called Burtonsville and there was a highway sign for Starbucks. So we decided to get some evening java on the roadtrip. Turns. As we left the ramp we looked around and saw nothing but green trees, thinking, where the hell is this Starbucks. Driving down about 2 miles we kept seeing signs alongside the road single Starbucks Logo signs. Where else do you find that. There was even a Starbucks sign on one of the lights. Turns out there is absolutely nothing in Burtonsville except the Starbucks, a McDonald's and a 5 store strip. I was surprised there wasn't a sign for the McDonald's. We keeps driving down the centre road until the Starbucks signs and any civilization disappeared altogether. Driving back we decided to just hit the McDonald's for coffee, rank Arabica blend. We asked the lady at the drive through where the Starbucks was and she said it was closed. What a cock, why the hell where there signs out on the highway if the damn place was closed!

The Austria Plan

Monday April 2 and 2 weeks and 8 mroe days of work till I'm out of this Office Prison! Dan Lerer starring in, Office Break!

I went out Sunday to Borders and picked up a wicked Lonley Planet guide to trekking in the Alps. There I came along the Stubai trail, about a 9 day hut-to-hut trek in the Austrian Alps near Innsbuck. I'm quite keen on doing this and I've got some maps of the area in the guide and all. I found a site but its in Austrian http://www.stubaier-hoehenweg.at/de/index.php which vaguely explains the trail. Other than the guide, it isnt easy to find info on the web for this place so perhaps it won't be super tourist inflated. It will give me a chance to work off that Italian pizza and pasta weight I'll no doubt put on from Italy. So part from Innsbruck and the trail, I'll also explore Vienna, Graz, Salzburg and look at taking a cruise on the Danube, below.

Visit Melk and its monastery, and return through Wachau (a white wine making region in a narrow bend on the Danube) to Düernstein (where Richard the Lionhearted languished in a dungeon after his return from the Crusades) and onto Krems to visit its Old Town. If possible, take the boat to return to Vienna.

Das eest Goot.

dtm