Genoa Salami

Get aload of these 2. I'm gonna tell you the end of this story so i'll sort of Tarrintino it, and then describe the events that led up to what was said as 'I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!', then I bolted fast.

I left Shara's place in Asti on the train I 'thought' was going to Milan. It was about 2 minutes to so I jumped on the train that was listed as Milan. Turned up I ended up in some small shit town I cant even remember the name of which looked to have about 500 inhabitants. And I thought Asti was small. Checking the schedule, the next train to Milan was 2 hours from, but they had a train to Genoa. Interesting, I never thought of Genoa so I decided to hop on that train in a hour and explore Genoa for a few hours before heading off to Como. The train was already parked so I got on and waited. This bloke rocked up to it 10 minutes later and asked me if it was going to Genoa in Italian. I kind of pointed and said probably. Turns out there was another train parked in front of the one I sat on thatwas the actual train going, so I got off and walked to the front train with the bloke. He was trying to have a conversation with me in full on Italian as he sat next to me. Now usualy I lose my patience and think whats the point, but I thought Id give it a try and maybe learn some words. He was about 45 years old, 5'6 and had a wedding ring on. Nothing out of the ordinary and he didnt even talk in a higher pitched voice. He was a nurse and was on his way to work, or so I thought, I cant understand Italian! He was showing me pix on his camera of his kids and even his wife. So we bantered about where we were from and about the Cinque Terre where I just visted to which he replied 'Mortebello (very beautiful)'. After about 35 minutes he threw out the word 'Mantegeitte' (spelt differently) which I understood as to eat, in Genoa. I thought how cool, perhaps he knew a good place where the locals go to for some good pasta to have some lunch, then be on our way. So I said yes, what the hell, go for the 'Real Italian Experience', why shy away. He was on the phone and I managed to pick out that a 3rd Amigo would join. Cool. When we got to Genoa he bought me 2 bus tickets and we hopped on a bus towards some full on residential area, way behind the touristy stuff of Genoa. We rocked up to an apartment, so I thought, ok he is picking up his friend then we'll walk to this joint. We ended up heading upstairs which I thought was weird. Once in his buddy answers the door and invites us in. We are in the Kitchen and they start making food. I immediately get the impression something is up, but I thought ok, I wanna push the limits and see what will happen. His buddy, who spoke a little English was about 42, with intense blue eyes and told me he is on holiday and lives in Paris, so the bloke spoke English, Italian and French. They start making all this food meanwhile offering me wine (which I drank), there wasent much conversation as they were preparing. I thought it was a little odd that the guy who had the apartment turned on some music to the tune of Madonna, American Dream. Youd think it funny that a couple of blokes would want to listen to Madonna, why not some Snoop Dog or some Hip Hop. When all was done we sat down at the table to eat. It was a 4 course meal with pasta, salad, cheese and strawberry desert. I was talking with the guy who could sorta speak English, but I noticed the glances the married bloke was giving me. Look, if I knew from the getgo what was going to happen, I would never have agreed to this Italian Experience. I mean the Roman Catholics are highly against Homosexuality, I hear the church excommunicates you. Perhaps this is why they try to cover it up with fake wedding rings and pictures of their faghags posing as their wives. When it all clicked at the table I tried to turn the tables by showing them pics with me and some women I met on my trip so far, thinking they would understand Im not gay. They laughed and said Bellisimo, and I thought I was in the clear. I managed to take a picture of the two as I wanted to at least get some evidence of this insanity. After dinner they asked if I wanted an aperitive so I said sure as I watched the guy pour a full glass or Arramo, a sambuca type drink. I thought it was odd that they only poured themselves a quarter of a glass. We were drinking wine throughout. I guess they thought getting me drunk would lower my inhibitions. Fuck that, I knew exactly what was going on. As I sat at the dinner table, I studied the front door to determine if it was locked from the inside figuring Id have to get through there. The bloke who was staying at the apartment said he was having some computer trouble, as I mentioned I was in computers, and feeling genuinly empathetic, as I always am, not to mention the food was fantastic, I offered to try and sort it out. He led me to a room with his laptop which he sat down. I was standing next to him and the other bloke that started this on the train next to me, as he shut the door behind him. Great I thought, what have I got myself into, the door is shut and Im standing next inbetween 2 gay blokes. His comp was in French, it was hopeless, so I said 'Unless you can get your computer to talk to you in English, I cant help'. Then the guy from the train puts his hand on my hand which was supporting me on the table. I looked at him and said 'no no, I LIKE FIGA, NOT FIGO!', he kind of laughed, the computer bloke was dead serious. I said look I cant help you on this computer issue. Then the train bloke tried to flick my shirt up, so I pulled away and said 'nono, naughty cheeky monkey'. Lets face it, I could have KO'ed both of these blokes, but A) Im not going to start voilence unless they are, and B), Im not going to directly insult then while they surround me as this might lead to A. I knew I had to get out of there. I again replied, 'FIGA, I like FIGA (look it up). Then some kind of divine intervention came about and the train bloke said, 'caffe', which I replied CI. The guy stood up and opened the door and went into the kitchen, which i realized was my way out. I gave it about 5 seconds to make sure the guy was fully in the kitchen to which I shouted out, 'FURCURO TU'!!, then I bolted as fast as I could, opened the front door and bolted down the stairs and just kept running. As I ran I heard, 'I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU' in a half mixed french italian and english accent. I wove the streets and thought, shit, Im gonna have 2 modj chasing me now, I need to get to the train station. But wait a second, whats the reality that 2 almost 50 year old overweight blokes are going to run and catch me. I kept going thinking to myself, yea right, and sorta chuckled as I finally reached the train station. I knew a story was going to come out of this and all in all I had a free meal, and probably some of the best cooking Ive had (modj always make good food), some amazing wine, and I probably managed to piss those guys off enough by bolting. Ive either pissed them off, or they are bumming each other right now in hysteria, but hey, I guess everyone wins. I woulda loved to see the look on their faces just as I bolted. Only thing Im really pissed about is that I didnt get to see Genoa.

dtm

Still in Cinque Terre

I heard that this happens often, people come to Cinque Terre for 2 days and stay for 6. I arrived last Thursday in Monterosso, the last village of the 5. I had a 1 bedroom mini cot with sink to myself for 25 euros..I didnt want my own room but apparently there were no hostels. The plan was to hike all 5 villages by way of the National Cinque Terre park, a hike that I could post an entire new entry about. My friend Shara from Vancouver was staying in a town called Asti and she drove out about 2.5 hours to meet me in Monterrosso. We spent about 5 hours hiking from village to village until the last oe RioMaggiore. It is one of the coolest hikes you could possibly do, trekking through the most incredible scenery, you feel like an Indigenous Italian delivering his Roma tomatoes to the next town. It takes you up cliffs with breathtaking views which make you stop and take a million pictures. The trail in some parts is so narrow you have to wait the q of people just to get around them. It wasent easy but well worth it. My newest pet peeve are the 80 year old German tourists with their stupid ski poles. They really outta put that shit away or not hike the trial at all, someone just might lose an eye. In any case Ive never seen so many 80 year olds challenge themselves in such a strenuous activity. You certainly dont see them on the grouse grind and this was physically harder and farther to travel. I digress. We ended up in Riomaggiore and found Bar Centrale, named accordingly, where we ended up making a host of new friends there. Several beers later we didnt make the train home and crashed at Simon, the aussie Bloke who introduced us to everyone. This is were it gets interesting. Ive been here for the past 6 days and people pretty much know me through my connections. Ive been staying in Riomaggiore for the past 3 days now in a hostel I share with Oliver, whoose bed is next to mine. Oliver is the resident croatian Painter, and is here for 2 months. He paints the coolest oil paintings of the towns here and sells them on street. Lisa a fellow North Vancouveran in the room next to us, Aaron from toronto, Jo from London Ontario, and Stacey from toronto as well. We have a communal kitchen and have been hanging out and cooking. In addition, through Simon I have met Kelly from west Vancouver and Priscilla from Texas. Both Kelly and Priscilla are dating 2 Italian guys in Riomaggiore and since we all meet up at Bar Centrale in the evening where everyone goes, the Italians get rather jealous of us for some weird reason. Its so small that apprently there is drama which I actually find quite amusing, but it keeps it interesting. Im actually on their goodside now as I was discussing with Yuri, Kellys Italian guy, the whole Yuri Gagarin Russian Astronaut deal in the 80s in resemblance to his name, which in his broken, 'ah yes Gagarin, Yuri like my name'. so entertaining, it was a laugh. In any case Cinque Terre is amazing, yet unfortuantly is becoming more of a tourist hotbed since Rick Steeves has been promoting it. The beach is nice, yet rocky in Rio, water is this amazing backlit blue, hiking trails for any type of outdoor enthusiast and 5 different villages built on rock that are quaint and picturesque. The locals are nice and will talk to you and its easy to meet people. This has to be my last day here as I must move on, but lest to say Ive enjoyed my time in Cinque Terre more than Florence or even Naples. Im sold on going to Como next, think i'll bang on Clooneys door for a bedshare.

dtm

Florence Art

If you like Penis, you'll love Florence. Florence is chalk full of Roman statues from Leonidas looking characters, Marcelli's, Augustuses to the Famous David. Its interesting seeing some of these statues and their poses. Some of them rersemble a naked UFC fight. I see where the term 'Greco-Roman' wrestling comes from. The other thing I noticed is that its funny how you get an english translation of where the fire exits are in the museum, but as for reading the tag of the statue, its all in Italian, no translation. How the hell are you supposed to understand what your seeing if its all in Italian? I guess thats why they sell guides?......

And my last thought of de jour....Leonardo, Donatello, Michaelangelo and Rafael, Ninja turtles or Italian Renaissance Painters? Both. How did Splinter come up with Italian Ninjas when Go-Ju Ryu Karate was founded in Okinawa?....

In Florence

This is hard to keep up..Ive done a lot since my last Post..I now find myself in Floren,just arrived and staying at this isnanely cool Campground Called Camping Michaelangelo..Its located right next to the Piazzella di Michaelangelo...overlooking florence..easily the best view ive seen in my life I think its probably the prettiest view of a lifetime....I sat thre drinking wine on the steps and socialized to some people around me...Ive tried to plug my camera into this usb portbut it doesnt work so pics will have to wait..im having no luck with pics..i bought a new camera with 8 gigs on it ajuse my 1 gig sony was full at500 pics in the first 5 days....

So I am staying for 2 nights buit might make it a third..this place is awsome..i am in a giant 20 foot tall tent with 3 bed but im the only one in my -tent- village...they have a masive terrace overlooking Florence and its full of pepple drinking beer and wine now at 10pm..im already kinda smashed as i write this and will join the fray shortly.....I spent the lasty few nights in Rome and 2 days in Ishia..Ishia was cool and i will have pics up soon...its a natural volcanic rock and i hit up some freehot springs where the rocks are steaming and hot like geysers....

Rome was great except I found it dirty...I think the Spanush have no repsect for tourism...Other thn that I had a i wicked time at the hostel, met some very cool people and just had a wicked time. We cooked some communal meals, hung out on the terrace, saw the vatican, pissed on the colleseum and did some dancin.... good timesall around...I amreallytdiggin the Florence Vibe right now!...Wil catch up later..hope to ghet this damn camera thing working so i can get some photos....

Deep thoughts on the Eye of Positano

It's my second day in Positano, my first didnt really count as I got in late from Amalfi. Today I went for a crazy long hike to reach what I term, the Eye of Positano. I will post some pics soon on this. I went alone, as no one was crazy enough to join me, not to mention there really isnt anyone at the hostel Im in. A girl from Montreal named Maureen is running the place for about 6 months so far and gave me the hints to get up there. Postano is not for the weak. Because its a hill town, it is literally like doing the Gouse Grind from the beach to the top, where my Hostel, called Hostel Briketts is. Way to work off the Pizza and Pasta Ive been gorging on. Anyways i digress. I must have been hiking about 5 hours today and I went to a town called Mastro somthing, I cant remember right now. This is where the journey to the eye takes place. From the pics Ill post you can see the trip up is about the size of Cyprus mountain straight up from Ambleside Park. You start with these steep steps, a natural stairclimber to the top where the path then abruptly ends. Hereis the tricky part. there is a natural rock type line which goes straight up which I followed, mostly by bushwacking my way up. It was seriously roughing it. I got to the top scratched from thornbrush, exhausted and wet because it started to rain, just my luck. I traversed along the cliff but no avail, ran into a steep cliff drop. I figured perhaps there wasent a way to actually get inside the eye. My trip down was horrendous as I had to fight my way thru the thickest brush and branches, very steep. It was literally off roading it. I was kind of freaked about it and I remembered the time I hiked the Lions. I went back down the steps after an hour, met a local tending to his field. I asked him if there was a path up there and he responded that it was very tricky and off to the left of the steps, I went straight prior to. I decided I was this far already so Im not giving up. I marched back up the steps and hung the left where there was kind of a makeshift gate made of branches. I traversed along the ledge of a cliff at the top of the field. That was the hardest part until I saw a narrow dirt path, about the size of my leg. I folowed it up. It was not easier than the first part, I still had to fight my way through very thick brush spritzing in my face. After about 40 minutes I reached the top of the eye. I was the only one there, no one was crazy enough to attempt this. The view was incredible and a sense of peace laid about me.

This is when I got thinking, HERES MY REVELATION- Ive heard quotes such as 'if I am going to die, id rather die on the battlefield', 'I'd love to die on a mountain', Dieing in combat blah blah blah...Fuck That.....I'm not letting any mountain, person\fight, burning house, osterich\wildlife or any other nonsense like that take my life. When I die, I'm going to die on my bed, with old age. I'd rather go through it all, rather than let some mountain or whatever kill me....and Preferably, I'd like to be the last of my friends to die...Does that sound Selfish? I don't think so. I hope I can help my friends and pass any knowledge or whatever down to them as much as possible, so that at least I can be there for that purpose. As Selfish as it may sound, it really isnt, as there won't be anyone left to see me go one day.

dtm

Arrived in Positano

I will try and condense my psots as much as possible, so much crap goes on that it might be tough.

So last leaving off, I went to Pompeii after arriving in Naples. 4 euros roundtrip and 10 euros to get in. Pompeii was destroyed by Mt Vesuvius in a hail of lava and ash in 79 AD. it was a Roman city. Lest to say it was a day looking at a bunch of riuns. Not that exciting. I figure Im more of an active person who enjoys hiking or atersports then looking at crumbled rock. I refrained from taking pictures of the molded casts of victims from the lava, I dont fuck with the spirit world. Other than that you Pompeii is about 183 acres big, masive, so you pick out 5 to 6 things to see and then leave.

That night I was out with some friend sI made at the hostel, friday night and we were wandering around looking for a bar. We wee 3 in all and we found ourselves in a crowd of about 200 Italians drinking outside some bar. Low and Behold I was hit with a flying bottlecap in the back, then Jeff got hit with one as it soared through the sky. We kind of looked at each other like (wtf?) but didnt react. I thought we had ben marked by mafia, or they thought we were gay. It seemed very odd but nonetheless who the hell throws bottlecaps anyways. Kiwis throw peanuts in your drink, Italians flick bottle caps at you. Great.

Next day I set off for Capri (pics posted on facebook) Capri was cool, an Island town with Glitz. First thing I did was go to the Grotto, pics on facebook. they put you in a small canoe of 4 people and a guide shoots you into the grott. Everyone has to lay flat or your head will smack the rock and probablykill you. The guide has to time the tide because of the waves before shooting the boat in. Inside the water is coloured like the the coolest blue halo you can imagine. It was definately a cool experience. I hiked around one half of the island which had some stunning views. There is a trail that goes around it and is very narrow in some parts, it was about a 2 hour hike. On the flip side is Ani Capri, where most of the locals reside. I took the bus out there and hiked around some more. I bumped into an Brandon, from San Diego who was on holidya with his wife. Brandon had tickets to some club where Pamela Anderson was to be on that night. He invited me out but I had to catch my ferry back to Naples, damn it sounded good, Pamela and all! Capri was far more glitz than Naples and is the hotspot for rich Italian and Celebrity types. The owner of Ferrari has the pink house on the cliff as you approach it.

Today i just got into Positano, one of the most beautiful places Ive seen. Stunning rock town bult about 3 kms on the cluff face and beach. Tomorow I want to hike the Path of gods before hitting the beach. Right now being almost 7pm I am dieing for some seafood pasta and red wine. I am going to be soooooooooo fat when Im done travelling. =p

dtm

When in Naples P2

So after my first half day in Naples Im already having fun. After checking into the Bella Capri hotel and Hostel, Alfredo who proved to be more than helpful set me up with some places to se. He also recommened an excellend family run pizziera on the waterfront. After walking for about 4 hours, I was ready to Eal. note . i took the Funicoulir which is a cable car on tracks up to the Fuga, top of Naples but it was all residential. I was actually wandering in peoples backyards while trying to get that picture perfect postcard on naples hills.

I decided to truck it to the eatery where they didnt speak English, hence fmaily run establishment. I went with my gut after scanning the menu, Ill have the Bizmark Pizza. Wrong choice. It came out as a breakfast pizza, ham, mozzarella and 3 cracked eggs and peppers on it..I wondered why they kept hushing Bizmark amongst each other in Italian. It was 9pm. It still went well with my beer.

After my meal it became dark and I wanted to go out but thought id hit the hostel and drop off my day bag. Back at the hostel I made friends with Ben and Kerry (2 kiwis who arrived that day) Dee (a Londoner, Sarah from Michigan, and Robin from New York) We all sat around chatting at the hostel after deciding to go out and get a beer. We just hit up a local place down the road and had a few pints.

Today Im going to visit Pompeii with Robin, Dee and Sarah might tag along as well. They are still sleeping and its 8am while im writing this. Ben and Kerry are off to the Greek Islands and are staying at the Pink Palace, my final destination. they will be sure and email me what goes on there, equally as stoked as I am.

dtm

When in Naples.....

So I just got into Naples after a fairly painless 2 hour flight from Heathrow. First thing I did was get onto a Ari Bus from the Airport taking me into Gagliardi Piazza where the bus and train terminus is. I sought out the Info booth to help me locate a hostel but went with my Gut and am now residing in the Hostel and Hotel Bella Capri on the Waterfront District. 18 Euros per night including breakfast. I got it from the -lets Go Europe book- Room is neat and tidy, 7 person room but theres only one other bag in there now, no sign of the person. Very nice and clean hostel with Alfredo, a 35 year old owner who speaks great English .He even had the -Canadienne accent as he spoke my nationality as he noted I was born in Montreal. Well done! ..So 5pm now and im here for either 2 or 3 days. Gonna go out and get a pizza and some beer now. There is free internet at the Hostel so I can update along. Happy Face! Ciao Bellas!

dtm

Duck Hunting

Is there some kind of Promo going on 'in' Vancouver about 'Duck Hunting Season'? I keep seeing this slang amongst various people and was thinking that Ducks Unlimited might not be too happy about this....Is Duck Hunting Season some kind of Jim Hughson Promo?

dtm